The misogyny of Albie from ‘The White Lotus’ and the performative Nice Guy

Likeability isn’t exactly a priority White Lotus creator Mike White, when it comes to his characters, but each one has traits that make you support them one moment and curse them the next. Albie Di Grasso (Adam DiMarco) – the show’s approved Nice Guy™ – embodies this duality; while some viewers are drawn to her charms, others appeal to her thinly veiled misogyny that hides behind her performative feminism.

Dragged by her family for a five-star vacation in Sicily, Albie burst into Taormina in Season 2 with the phrase “good guys finish last” and somehow managed to break into the heart of the internet. If you’ve ever been a part of the dating scene, you’ll probably be uncomfortably familiar with the Good Guy trope.

What is the Performative Nice Guy?

How do you spot a Nice Guy? In fact, they will tell you. A Good Man will constantly bring up the fact that he is actually groundbreakingly good, believing that a minimum of respect towards women deserves a reward. You better believe that they are morally superior beings, they often talk about alliances with women, and there is little action to back this up. Citing directly in Albie’s comments to Portia (Haley Lu Richardson) in episode 2, Nice Guys claims that women often gravitate towards the “bad boys” and are therefore left behind – such rhetoric can often be found on “subtle” Reddit forums. extreme misogyny is rampant.

Adam DiMarco and Simona Tabasco as Albie and Lucia
Credit: Fabio Lovino/HBO

Albie displayed almost all the hallmarks of a Good Guy throughout Season 2 of the series – he gave himself a real title, said he was attracted to “wounded birds”, showed off his savior complex through his relationship with Lucia (Simona Tabasco), etc. .

In episode 2, when Portia asks him if he’s a “nice guy” in their relationship, Albie says: “Girls always complain that guys aren’t good, but then, when they find a good guy, they’re not always interested.” If you have to say you’re a good guy, you definitely It is a universally accepted fact that you are not a good man.


The protagonists in Season 2 of The White Lotus are sex workers.

Portia understands Albie’s kindness, but apparently believes she’s really good, not good at performance. In episode 3, Portia says to Tanya: “She’s really good, maybe a little too good. I wish she’d cut my heart a little bit more.” These words directly feed into Albie’s belief that women are typically not interested in “good” men.

The Good Man trope, women’s time, attention, and often sex is accompanied by a sense of having a routine that is often nothing more than a successful manipulation tactic. Nice Guys are highly motivated by the possibility of passively pleasing the object of their desire (usually a woman) for a relationship and/or sex.

If you have to say you are a Good Man, it is a universally accepted fact that you are definitely not a good man.

Assuming that the only reason a person can have for rejection is someone else is a certain level of arrogance and lack of self-awareness. more Beautiful. And the roots of this trope have had a serious impact on today’s dating culture.

Journalist Rachel Hosie writes, “Men who complain about being unlucky in love despite their ‘good guy’ personalities can have a sinister agenda.” Independent. “The idea is that if you’re meeting someone’s needs without him asking, he should take care of yours too. So if a man is nice to a woman, she should reciprocate him as a girlfriend, because that’s what it is. clearly How are these things going?”

Albie wants to save ‘beautiful, injured birds’

Albie’s savior complex will be his final destruction. White Lotus. He tells Portia that he is attracted to “beautiful, injured birds”, which makes it seem like he only wants to be with women who need some kind of rescue. He will play the “hero” with Lucia and “save” him from Alessio’s mysterious threat, not just for Lucia’s sake but to make him feel better.

Albie’s response to Lucia’s discovery that she is a sex worker is also very meaningful. Albie assumes that Lucia, a sex worker, doesn’t have an agency and can’t possibly believe she did it of her own choosing. She is overly willing to assume she is being exploited by Alessio, a man she implied is her pimp. She firmly believes that she has been exploited, that she is a victim and therefore needs to be rescued. This is where the Savior complex comes into play. She sees Lucia as the “wounded bird” she mentioned earlier. That comes as little surprise when Lucia uses this to her advantage and scams Albie €50,000 by making up the whole story about Alessio.


The White Lotus Season 2 opening credits ruin the finale

This is a turning point in Albie’s Nice Guy routine. We don’t get to see this on the show, but it perfectly establishes the beginning of his distrust of women, which could put him on the path he fiercely wants to avoid. At the airport, as everyone finally prepares to go home, the three Di Grassos turn their heads to look at a beautiful woman passing by, implying that Albie will be just like them.

Albie, Bert and Dominic look at a beautiful woman passing by, turning their whole body from left to right.

Adam DiMarco, F. Murray Abraham, Michael Imperioli portray three generations of Di Grasso men.
Credit: Fabio Lovino/HBO

Albie’s performative feminism is shown throughout the series, driven mainly by her need to separate herself from her father and grandfather – “I refuse to have a bad relationship with women,” she tells Portia. In episode 3, Di Grassos and Portia visit the house where they shot scenes from Francis Ford Coppola’s movies. Godfather (1972), Albie says, the film is loved by men because it sells them the fantasy of a time when patriarchy was rarely challenged. Albie keeps staring at Portia, as if checking to see if she’s influenced by her straight-up Twitter feminist monologue rejecting traditional male gender roles.

“Men love Godfather because they feel castrated by modern society. “It’s a fantasy where they can go out and solve all their problems violently, sleep with any woman, and then come home and have their wives who don’t ask questions and make them pasta.”

All of Albie Godfather The monologue is also a reaction to his father’s and grandfather’s string of infidelities. She seems to blame both for her current self, a model that can also be seen in her father Dominic.

“You know I’m like this because of you,” he tells Bert, “You never showed me how to love a woman…how to be sincere…how to put others first. I did the same.” Albie is trying so hard to make sure she doesn’t end up like the men of her family that it seems that Good Guy behavior will cause her to over-correct her behavior and end up just like her predecessors.


‘The White Lotus’ Season 3: Here it is, our dream cast

If Albie’s feminism was less performative, less rehearsed, and instead came from a more intimate place, then this scene wouldn’t raise an eyebrow, but there is an element of reward-seeking in her behavior.

The sexual validity of performative feminism

Over the years, claiming to be a feminist and understanding the oppression faced by the marginalized sexes has become a sexual value in our dating culture. Research shows that a person’s stance on social issues can make or break a match. According to Tinder’s 2022 review, 75 percent of single people are looking for a spouse who is respectful or invested in social issues.

Another survey by Bumble 74 percent of men said they looked inside and analyzed their own behavior more than ever before and had a clearer understanding. toxic masculinity. Research led by PhD candidate Max Stick clarified that men who identify as feminists have more sex than men who do not identify as feminists.

Portia and Albie sit in steamy chairs by the hotel's pool.

Haley Lu Richardson as Portia and Adam DiMarco as Albie.
Credit: Fabio Lovino/HBO

Albie’s performative feminism is reexamined when Jack steps in. In the beach club scene in episode 4, Albie is clearly annoyed by Portia talking to Jack, the walking, talking red flag – “Cowabunga” tattoo, the stereotypical “bad boy” charm, the true embodiment of blatant indifference. For Portia’s needs. Albie has trouble understanding why a woman he’s been courting for almost two days suddenly doesn’t want to hang out with him. She apparently thinks she has some kind of ownership over him—I saw him first, so he’s mine. She is also threatened by Jack because this reinforces her belief that girls go for “bad guys” instead of “good guys”.


Portia’s chaotic outfits in ‘The White Lotus’

In Season 2, white privilege was replaced by sexual politics. White Lotus. Where the first season is set against the backdrop of conflicts in the colonial lands where the hotel (the name is not coincidental) sits, this second season sees people use their sexuality to wage war on everyone around them. In this season, sex is a weapon, a way of controlling and defending power, and its by-product (especially when sex is out of wedlock) hurts and suffers the cheater.

There is feminism and there is performative feminism. The latter exists because there is a social, romantic and sexual validity attached to it. With how democratized the conversation around this is, it’s all too easy to seem like one. Nice Guys like Albie use it as a manipulation tactic to get women into bed, instead of showing genuine commitment to feminism and taking concrete actions to support it, and that’s where the problem lies.

Good guys get the girl. Nice Guys™ does not.

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