by His funny collaboration with SZA.
And Kenan & Kel We didn’t know we needed a reboot.
But there is one explosive sketch that I can’t stop thinking about.
The sketch begins at the Times Square Sanrio store (the company that owns Hello Kitty), where a group of new employees are trained to work on the sales floor.
To be able to work there, they need to know the Hello Kitty character’s background. Well… BUCKLE. ABOVE. Because these Hello Kitty facts from the sketch are actually totally true, straight from Sanrio.
HUMAN FACE?!?!?!?!
They go on to list that he was born in 1974, lives in London, and is “five apples tall.” They also reveal that you’re in third grade, and if you can do math…
THE FACE OF A 48-YEAR-OLD THIRD-GRADE STUDENT?!?!?!
Okay, you might say to yourself, it doesn’t get any crazier than this. THINK AGAIN, sister.
WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?! What are the rules of this world?
THE FACE OF A 48-Year-Old THIRD-GRADE STUDENT WITH A CAT FOR BOY?!?!
In case you forgot (as I did), this story originally appeared in 2014 when anthropologist Christine R. Yano was curating a Hello Kitty exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum in Los Angeles.
“I’ve been corrected — very definitively,” he told the Los Angeles Times. “This is Sanrio’s fix for my script for the show. Hello Kitty isn’t a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She’s a little girl. She’s a friend. But she’s not a cat. She’s never been portrayed on all fours.” She walks and sits like a bipedal creature. But she has her own pet cat and her name is Charmmy Kitty.”
STOP. IT. RIGHT. NOW. Let’s go over that.
Hello Kitty is also apparently Natasha Lyonne. BECAUSE WHY NOT?!
You can watch the entire sketch here. And be careful there. Nothing is like it seems.
